you traded sex for a burrito?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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