if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
