I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
