Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
