we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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