Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
