she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
