Just fell off a train. Bad.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
