she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
