You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
