in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
