I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
