def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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