I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
