Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
