i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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