I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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