Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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