If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
