so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize