I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
