I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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