If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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