I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
