i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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