I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
