Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
