I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
