i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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