Dual....:-)
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
