If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
