Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
worst night to have a conscience
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
