Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
