it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
