you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
