The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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