I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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