my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
