I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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