this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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