Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
