i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
