Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
