idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
