New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize