bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
