i permit you to call me
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
the raccoons are back...
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