it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
