you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
