Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize