Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
