I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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