He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
