Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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