xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
