Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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