I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
