all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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