Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
