I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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