i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Randomize
